It’s always a bit nerve wracking coming home after 5 months away. Has our basement living quarters flooded, is there bad damp, which we’ve had other years. This time there was none of that. This time it was far worse.

As soon as I walked into the kitchen I could smell it. Sharp, unmistakable… and utterly familiar. My stomach churned with recognition. I hoped it wasn’t what I thought it was.

My nose twitched trying to track it down. There it was again, stronger now, my gag reflexes kicking in. I opened the cupboard door and my suspicions were confirmed!

Mouse! It was disgusting. We always mouse-proof the house before we go away. Every crumb, every morsel, carefully sealed in plastic containers. Nothing left to tempt him. Nothing, that is, except this time… we had forgotten the flour.

There were two big bags of bread flour in a cupboard we hadn’t checked. And the mouse had eaten the lot! The bags were still there, but they were completely empty. And there was mouse shit everywhere. It was so disgusting. Mike put on his mask and gloves and spent the next few days cleaning it up. It didn’t help his mood when a mouse ran across his foot in the process.

So we put out the traps with peanut butter. Mice LOVE peanut butter. But you know what? For a week they just licked the peanut butter off and didn’t trip the trap. How the heck were they doing this? Night after night they would sneak around, shitting over our cutlery, t-towels, bench top, eat the peanut butter, then leave. Day after day I would rewash the cutlery, throw out the t-towels and sanitise the bench top. It was a thankless task so we took action. We went to Bunnings and bought a load of plastic containers to keep the cutlery in and T-towels in. 

But still, they kept coming, eating us out of our home. By the time they’d polished off the peanut butter jar, we refused to buy more. It wasn’t the cheap stuff either!

Out of desperation, I rang sister Jenny. She has a farm, and mice are always a problem on farms. She said she has had exactly the same problem with the peanut butter. She said she superglued cheese to the trap. Great idea!

So off to the supermarket we went to buy cheese and superglue. An odd combination, but by this stage we were desperate. That night, Mike set the traps, and we hoped for the best.

Dead bodies are not what I usually want to see first thing in the morning, but I was actually hoping for them. And sure enough, a quick glance, I saw papa mouse lying next to the trap, And in the garage, mama mouse had taken the bait too. They must have thought they hit the jackpot with cheese! I felt a bit mean, but then I got over it. 

The only problem with being upgraded so late, is we don’t get to lose the lounge. In the process of trying to change our flights, I’d managed to lose my Go Pro. I retraced all my steps, asked around, but it was gone. Bugger. Thankfully we had most of the footage copied off up until a couple of days ago, but still, it’s an expensive camera. While we waited for our flight Mike filled in a lost form for the airport.

And then it was time to board the plane, excited about our business class seats. As soon as we got on board if felt like being home. It may sound crazy but after so long away, hearing the familiar accents was somehow comforting. In all of our travels, we hadn’t met any kiwis or aussies.

We climbed on board, ony to find our seats couldn’t have been further apart. Mike was at the back of the cabin and I was at the front on the other side. But the great thing about Air New Zealand is, we can eat together. The pouffe doubles as a seat and the table is way big enough for two. So I joined Mike for dinner while they made up by bed, ready to dive into after dinner. (It was a late flight, 10.10pm)

There was bad turbulence as we climbed out of LAX. The pilot did warn us, as apparently all the other pilots had warned them. It was bad, but I think I’ve had worse. And it only lasted about ten minutes.

Then it was time for dinner! I hiked over to Mikes seat, and tried to get the seat belt out for the spare seat. But it was stuck solid. I didn’t want to sit here without a seat belt. If that turbulence decided to fire up again, it might have been scary. Thankfully the flight attendant, who was also a hard case, came to the rescue.

He tried to lift the seatbelt, but he failed too. Next thing, he’s kicked off the edge of the seat with force. It looked like he’d broken it. But he clearly knew what he was doing. He extracted the seatbelt, and I was able to sit and enjoy a yummy meal.

We both chose the same thing (there is a menu) and we had the smoked salmon for starters, and the lamb for main, and it was delicious. There was cheesecake for desert, but it was average. So I let Mike eat mine and I scurried back to my seat for sleep. Mike followed me as he wanted the toilet. The same flight attendant that fixed my seat thought he were heading for the same toilet, and said in a firm voice: “Only one at at time in the toilet please.” It was funny.

I woke up about 5 hours later, pleased to see there was only a couple hours to go! I joined Mike for breakfast. Mike made a huge mistake (probably because I wasn’t there to help him). He didn’t order a cooked breakfast, only opting for the continental. I, on the other hand, am more savvy. Always order the cooked breakfast, and you don’t have to eat it. 

Our continental came out first. A lovely fruit salad, followed by granola and a mango smoothie. Then my cooked breakfast. It was an open bagel with smoked salmon, hollondaise and two poached eggs. I was going to share with Mike, but it was so delicious, I scoffed the lot!

Mike was jealous, so thankfully he was able to order his own.

Anyway, a very nice flight, always a treat to be upgraded. We arrived at Auckland airport, were through security and biosecurity in exactly 18 minutes, grabbed some coffees and met sister Jenny at the pick up point. Thankfully it was school holidays and there was no traffic! It was nice to be home after the stress of the last few days. Just hope there’s no tarantulas hiding in our bags!

The next morning we were up early. I’d decided to put the van back into storage early so we could get an earlier flight. I booked our flight from Las Vegas to LAX for 1.30pm and a hotel at LAX that night. It was just a 2.5 hour drive to Las Vegas. 

We arrived at the storage unit right on the dot of 10am and were able to get Rodger stored away. Then we caught an uber to the airport, queued up for about a hour to get through security. Mike tried to take his laptop out of his bag, but it was stuck. He couldn’t get it out without taking all his clothes out. Thankfully the TSA agent said laptops could stay in our bags. Finally we got through, and had to catch a train to the terminal as we were flying with Delta. There were just people everywhere and it was a little overwhelming.

We got through, had a much needed coffee, and a sandwich. Our flight to LAX was only 42 minutes, and we took off and landed early.

As we were taxiing at LAX I saw a Qantas plane, and behind it the familiar tail with the Koru on it. An AirNZ plane was in. Then a crazy idea jumped at me. “Shall we try and get on tonights flight?” I said to Mike. It seems I’m always mucking with the system. “Nah, let’s just leave it as it is.”

We got off the plane and almost exited the airport when I thought of the hassle. Catching a bus to our hotel. Eating an overpriced meal at the hotel. Hanging around all the next day waiting for our 10pm flight. We could maybe avoid all that with just a phone call…

So instead of exiting the airport, we walked to the terminal where air NZ leaves from while I rang them. We got a girl who said there were two seats, but not together. And it was too late to apply our recognition upgrade. She said we could go to the ticket counter and see about getting seats together. We said we’d get back to her.

To go to the ticket counter we could have had to exit the airport and come through security again. Mike said just leave our flights as they were. We might get our upgrade if we wait until tomorrow night.

But I would’nt be deterred. I wondered if we booked it online whether we could just stay in the airport and avoid all the fuss. We asked a security guard. He said if we had tickets, there was no need to exit. At this point, even Mike agreed this was a good thing.

So I rang Air New Zealand back, and this time I got a guy. He had to make a call to the airport and got us two seats together. He also was able to put in our upgrade request. Yay.

So once the flights were changed, I checked in online and once we’d got our boarding passes, we breathed a sigh of relief. We wouldn’t need to exit the airport and deal with the madness of security!

Then I rang Jenny to see if she could pick us up a day earlier. She could! Yay! Finally able to relax, we went and had a meal, then went to the gate to wait for our flight, many hours early.

Then Mike got the call. “Congratulations sir, you got your upgrade.”

“What about me?” I said. “Are you together? Let me see your passport.”

Tense moment. 

“Oh, you got your upgrade too!” Yay. So business class for both of us. 

More about that in the next blog.

We’d been umming and aahing about staying a few days near Moab, which was 2.5 hours drive away, but we both woke up this morning and decided to drive the 6-7 hours to Cedar City, where we would try and change to an earlier flight.

We arrived at the Cedar city campground just after 5pm (the same one as our first night here, and also where we spent a week with covid last year). It’s not that it’s a particularly nice campground, more that it’s familiar, and Cedar city is a nice town, not too big, but with everything you need.

The plan was to change our flight to Thursday (it was currently Monday), and that would give us a full day in Cedar city to clean the van out, vacuum and wash it. But when I tried to change the flights, Thursday was all booked out. The next available flight was Saturday. I had it in my mind I just wanted to get home now, and didn’t want to wait until Sat. The agent said there was also a flight on Wednesday, but we thought that would be too early. Plus she said it was too late to apply our recognition upgrade. I told her we’d think about it and get back to them.

Mike said there was no way we would make it for Wed night, not if we wanted to give Rodger needed a good clean. I disagreed. We still have an hour of daylight to clean Rodger out and pack out bags, and leave early in the morning. I rang our storage unit to see if we could put Rodger back tomorrow. She said they normally needed 23-48 hours notice. Bugger. But she said it should be ok, just to let her know when.

So I rang Air New Zealand back, got a different agent and he changed our flights, and also applied our recognition upgrade. Now all we had to do was get back to storage, find flights to LAX, and book a hotel in LAX. Oh, and empty the fuel from the generator. That could wait until the morning.

Today was another long driving day. It was a gorgeous drive through the San Juan mountains, and we climbed up over a couple of mountain passes, the highest being the Wolfs pass which was just under 11,000 feet. 

There were a few places we wanted to stop, but we just weren’t feeling it. We were going to stop in and visit Melanie in Durango, but she had covid, so we decided to steer clear. Instead, we continued driving and ended up at an expensive RV place opposite Mesa Verde. But it was quite nice and the people were all travellers (rather than permanents) and it had a good vibe. And the showers were nice

We’ve decided to try and change our flights to head home early. Five months of travel has worn us out!

WE made it through the night… just. I didn’t want to leave too early, due to seeing creepy things crossing the road, so left around 8am. It was a Saturday and a few other people were out and about, so I hoped they’d scare any critters off the roads.

It was another long drive and we crossed into Texas today. It was long, straight, boring and hot. We stopped in Amarillo for a Bucc-ees fix. This is a Texas chain of services, which have a bit of a cult following, with a beaver as its mascot. We didn’t really “get” it, but we had a bbq briskett sandwich here once, and it was really nice. So we decided to treat ourselves. It wasn’t quite like we remembered, and was really sweet. But it was a good place to break up the monotonous journey.

We are now heading for the mountains of Colorado, as apparently tarantula activity will be less at altitude. They’ll still be there, but hopefully not as many.

We pulled into the town of Raton in New Mexico after almost 700 kms. We decided to stop in a camping ground so we could have showers.

We were up early today as we wanted an early start to avoid the heat. We were on our way by 7.30am which is unheard of for us. It was a pretty boring drive. Mike drove. I read my book. We crossed from Arkansas into Oklahoma and headed for the Wichita mountains, which is probably the only thing of interest in Oklahoma.

After driving all day we arrived at a state forest campground, surrounded by trees. Not my ideal setting, but it was late and we had no choice. It was only possible to book online, and there was no internet in the park. So we had to get our our starlink to find the free spots. 

There were only two powered sites left, but we decided it was necessary because of the heat. After a lot of faffing, we finally managed to book one. It didn’t have “the vibe” but I didn’t know where else to go. As we were hooking up a power, a giant centipede scurried towards our van. It was bright yellow with a striking red tail pointing up like a scorpions, ready to strike. It looked extremely poisonous, so I steered it away from the van. It scurried into a tree, and I hoped that would be the last I’d see of it.

Mike said he was feeling stir crazy after the drive, so we went for a walk. This was a BIG mistake.

About 15 minutes into our walk, a GIANT tarantula strolled across the road in front of us. I screamed and Mike jumped, not sure whether from the critter or my scream. Either way, he looked pretty shaken by the size of it with its big hairy legs and its sinister gait as it carried on walking.

I turned quick smart and said I was heading back, and put on a very quick pace. We met some people on the way back and they said they saw one at their camp too. They said they are everywhere this time of year as they go on the hunt for mates. They also said they are mostly harmless, and steer clear of humans. Still, it doesn’t stop my mind ticking over full speed, knowing they will be coming out and night and walking under and around our van.

Back at the van, I taped up all the vents with duck tape and closed all the blinds so I coudn’t see what was going on outside, and had an internal meltdown. I didn’t want to be there but I couldn’t leave. We were in the middle of nowhere. We tried to play Phase 10 to take my mind off things, and Mike kept leaving me with a handful of cards. I threw them down in a huff, and decided to go to bed and read my book. I think I’m done with America.

Today we decided to stay put. I needed to get my video finished and I’m just not finding time with all the long driving days. And it’s a nice spot, and it’s good to have a break.

I actually spent all day on my video, racing to get it done before the library closed at 5pm. I didn’t quite make it, but we were able to get the library internet from outside in the van. Just as well too, as it didn’t finish uploading until 6.30pm. 

While we were sitting there, we had a terrible thunderstorm. Lighning cracked overhead so loud we both jumped. But it soon passed over.

We did a quick shop, and headed back to our campsite. The plan is to get up early and make up some miles tomorrow.

Today we left our camp nice and early to avoid the heat. We had a few things lined up to do in the Ozark forest, but none of them really happened.

Our first stop was a walk to some rocks. But it was too hot, so we aborted that. Then I think there was some more rocks and maybe a mountain to see, but we had forgotten to fuel up and there were no gas stations in the wop wops. We continued driving but all we saw was trees. All day. Every now and then we’d see a glimpse of a nice view of the mountains through the trees, but most of the time it was just trees.

Eventually, near the end of the day there was a lookout. This was very exciting for me, as I was getting so sick of seeing trees. And it was an incredible view over the trees. We met a couple of guys from Mississippi and they also mentioned how sick they were of trees.

We turned off to have a look at a campground. It was only $5 to camp, but you guessed it. It was in the trees, and by this stage I’d had enough.

We continued on to  the town of Ozark and made our way to a nice campsite overlooking a large river. Thankfully there are fewer trees here and it is a gorgeous spot.

This morning we went for a walk before it got too hot. I had a walk lined up but as soon as I walked into a spider web I quickly aborted that one. So we did another one which wasn’t so much in the trees. The walk took us on a wider road with trees either side, then around the edge of the lake, which was very picturesque. We stopped and admired a small turtle crossing the road. It was very cute.

By the time we got back to camp it was already hot. We scurried back into the air-conditioning to have our breakfast and coffee. Then decided we should probably move. The van was nice and cool from the AC so we should be good for ten minutes. But first stop, showers. We drove there as otherwise we’d be a sweaty hot mess walking back. Only problem was, Rodger was now sat in the sun. After a quick check for spiders in the shower block, we had a nice shower, and feeling refreshed, climbed back into the hot car. Instantly we were a sweaty hot mess again. Oh well.

We drove for 1.5 hours to the Ozark folk centre, which apparently was pretty cool, with bands and crafts and stuff. But there was nothing happening on a Tuesday. Oh well. So we continued on until we found a place to camp in a national forest. It’s $10 a night but no power, so we quickly fired up the generator and sat inside, enjoying the cool.

Mike cooked up another vegetable and noodle stir fry and it was equally yummy. We finished off the night with a game of Phase 10. I won.